When Liz and I first bought our house, it included a wonderfully horrid attempt at a wet bar in the basement. Â I’m sure that who ever built it thought it was beautiful (much like how all parents think their babies are beautiful). Â It had some absolutely stunning bead board from the local home center plastered across the front, and some sort of laminate applied to the plywood top. Â They had gone to the effort of putting in drywall on the back side, and an itty bitty sink. Â The sink isn’t terrible, at least functional, but on the smallish side.
Somewhere along the line Jim (dear old best friend Jim, who has probably encouraged more than a few irrational ideas) and I thought that we could do better. Â Liz and I had decided to completely redecorate the basement after our last bout with water from a frozen pipe, and didn’t want an ugly bar to detract from the rest of the basement. Â Paint was applied generously, carpet removed and replaced with vinyl stickers that look like wood, and the bar was judiciously destroyed. Â We left the 2×4 frame and painted it black. Â The new basement was all about things being black, and dark, and awesome. Â And nothing is more awesome than black.
With an epic black 2×4 frame, more wood was applied. Â A skin if you will, of rich brown birch plywood. Â This time we only applied this to the outside face of the assembly. Â We wanted more storage on the back side, and had some crazy ideas about how to make it happen. Â Upon our skin a black oak trim was applied. Â It was black, and oaky, and deep, and dark. Â Unfortunately we also discovered how hard it is to get wood to be perfectly black. Â Go to your local home center and look for stains (not paint) that achieve a full uniform black as night look. Â Back already? Â Hard to find. Â You might have stumbled across stains labeled as ebony. Â This is but a mere illusion of deep, and dark, and black. Â To fully achieve black you need two things, pure black dye, and india ink. Â India ink is officially the blackest thing I have ever found. Â Light is absorbed to never be seen again. Â So after much blood sweat and tears we had black trim, and it was applied, and It. Â Was. Â Awesome.
But this left us with a quandary, this epic, dark, black bar needed an appropriately epic top to match it.  Since Liz and I are children of the internet, we plumbed the depths to find something, anything to fulfill our bar top needs.  Liz found a nifty little end table that someone topped with dominoes.  Gears churned, wheels engaged and squirrels sped forth into the night with a previously unknown passion.
We could put things in the top.
Our minds raced with the possibilities, dominoes were cool, but already done. Â Coins and bottle caps were so last decade. Â We needed something original, something truly epic, and us, and never before seen. Â Enter ISU Surplus. Â The mecca of all things scientific and discarded at ISU. Â Here there were all sorts of electronic gadgets which could be embedded within a resin tomb. Â We had been collecting nifty circuit boards from which we were going to build a sculpture, and we thought about using some of those. Â Unfortunately to cover the top of a bar, you need some fairly significant square footage. Â I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but electronics are continually getting smaller, and thus circuit boards keep getting smaller with them. Â What else do people get rid of, but hasn’t been getting smaller over the last decade?
The lowly keyboard. Â And not just any keyboard, but the most generic black keyboard that has been more mass produced than even iPods. Â Yes, 55 of them in all were procured. Â You see, keyboards have a wonderful array of perfectly square keys. Â They are even labeled with their function.
Plywood was cut, trim was attached, and we had a void to fill. Â As I mentioned earlier, we had 55 keyboards. Â If you count the number of square keys on your keyboard you will come up with something in the ball park of 80. Â This isn’t a small number (for those who are bad at math, 55 * 80 = 4400). Â Weehee!! Â That is a lot of keys to individually place in an upright fashion while creating some sort of pattern. Â Speaking of patterns, what kinds of patterns can you think of creating with keyboard keys. Â I’ll give you a moment.
I’m sure you didn’t think of something as awesome as we did. Â A word search. Â I’ll repeat that. Â A word search. Â Getting drunk will never be the same again when you can entertain yourself and friends by trying to find crazy things in front of your face. Â I’m sure people look ridiculous while searching for hidden text, but we are having a fabulous time drinking, so it doesn’t matter.
As you can see here, keyboard keys are small, and as I mentioned earlier, there is a lot of space to cover.
About that much space. (Looks pretty sweet doesn’t it?)
How does one go about creating such a behemoth of a word search you say? Â One might expect to plot out each individual key with graph paper to maximize the level of fun that could be contained per square inch, thus achieving unheard of excitement. Â But then you just start hacking away at it because you’ve already put down three beers and need somewhere to set your bottle sooner rather than later. Â Fortunately Jim and his wife Mariah were drinking with us that night and we talked them into helping us lay everything out. Â 16 hours later the keys had been placed. Â I am actually serious about 16 hours of placing keys. Â Each one being hot glued down to prevent it from being knocked over as we poured out the resin fill. Â Many, many nights I sat hunched over the bar. Â Glue gun in hand, the smell of my burning flesh filling my nose. Â Placing each. Little. Key. Â Soon you start to see letters floating all around you, swirling and cascading down. Â They make such a pretty sound when they are being poured out. Â Like a cascade of shards of glass coming towards you.
So there we were, a sea of keyboard keys secured to a piece of plywood. Â To gaze upon it was to know awesome. Â The keys each had a different pitch to them which made the entire surface into an undulating sea of keys. Â Unfortunately it made for a horrible surface to place a drink on. Â Bottles kept falling over, things got lost in the crevices (imagine your couch cushions, but times a 1000. Â There must be a small fortune in pocket change in there.) and it just generally wasn’t as awesome as we would like. Â Enter large volumes of resin.
Epoxy resin is interesting…
I should probably finish that thought. Â Epoxy in large volumes is interesting to work with…
Ugh, I guess you want a better explanation than that too.
What most people think of when you say epoxy, is some two part adhesive that sticks any two things together. Â Now imagine that in larger quantities, like on the order of gallons. Â What you probably didn’t notice when working with your dainty little adhesive, is that epoxy is an exothermic reaction. Â For those without an engineering background, that means it produces heat. Â Enough to melt plastic, burn your hand, and generally cause lots and lots of problems if you try to play with too much at one time. Â For the spacial minded people, you are probably thinking about the volume that these keys take up. Â Your keyboard is much like an iceberg, there is a lot below the surface that you don’t see. Â The keys we used sit almost an inch tall. Â At almost 11.5 square feet that is 1656 cubic inches of volume to fill. Â Keys are a whole lot of air, much like many of our leaders, and thus don’t really take up much useful space. Â A gallon is defined as an 8 inch cube, or 512 cubic inches. Â With some magical math we end up with 3.2 gallons to fill the volume. Â Thats a lot of tubes of JB Weld.
When working with commercial volumes of resin you must take your time. Â You pour out an eighth of an inch at a time. Â You mix till your arm goes numb. Â You cry to the heavens for salvation from this agony. Â Then you realize that you already spent 16 hours placing itty bitty little keys by hand, and you succumb to the realization that it is winning. Â The project is beating you.
At last, the liquid reaches the top. Â You are done.
Pour yourself a glass of wine, you might as well enjoy what is left of your sanity.
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Basement, House, Woodworking by Nate